Permission to Put Yourself First by Nancy Levin

Author:Nancy Levin
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Hay House
Published: 2019-08-19T16:00:00+00:00

Exercise #13: Learn to State What You Want

In this exercise, you’ll recall times in romantic relationships when you’ve put your partner’s needs and wants ahead of your own. This exploration will help you begin to notice when you acquiesce without thinking about your own desires first.

Think back to times in your current or last few relationships when you deferred to what your partner wanted. Let’s say you and your partner were talking about seeing a movie or going to a restaurant. Did you wait for them to voice their opinion, and did you automatically agree? Did you acquiesce about more important aspects of the relationship such as not discussing a difficult issue because they didn’t want to? Did you decide not to voice your objection to your partner’s behavior out of the fear of conflict?

Make a list of the most important times you can remember when you didn’t ask for what you wanted or times when you put your partner’s needs before your own. What were the consequences of not speaking up? Did you miss out on getting what you wanted, and did you resent your partner for it? Did your partner miss out on getting to know you more fully? Having this list will help you watch for incidents in the future when you’re on the verge of putting your own needs and wants aside again. Watch for these moments in your life, and begin to gently coax yourself toward stating what you want.

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